No matter what your goals, ambitions or values in life – your mindset, the value you place on your thoughts and how you decide to act on those can create the difference between success and falling short.
People who surround themselves with positive, and invite that positivity into their own thoughts, are participating in a habit that develops more opportunities for real-life skills leading to success. If you don’t believe it, check out this great blog post that dives into the science of positivity, and explains the “broaden and build,” theory behind positive thinking.
I also believe in the power of visualization, and how consistently visualizing your goals helps you make them come true. (There’s a fun post about vision boards here.)
If you’re hoping to do more with your life, if you have a list of goals you’ve been waiting to achieve – it’s time to start saying, “No,” to negativity that presents itself, as these thoughts are interrupting your ability to focus and achieve.
Well, That’s Thoughtful …
You might be thinking – that sounds great and all … but, easier said than done. How do I stop these thoughts from coming, I don’t feel in control!
Right, I get it.
Unproductive thoughts tend to creep into our minds throughout the day whether we like it or not. These can be basic ideas, such as worrying about household chores, or big deals, such as stressing about whether you got the dream job you recently interviewed.
We’re not looking to banish these thoughts and stop them from surfacing, we’re looking to dismiss their reality, ignore the possibility and more on from the interruption.
When a thought enters your mind, ask yourself whether it helps you achieve something positive that day. If not, either dismiss it or a find a way to turn it into something useful.
For example, let’s go back to worrying about that dream job interview. If you’re overly stressed out about it 1 day after the interview, talk yourself out of worrying about the outcome. Ask yourself, “Did I send the proper follow up? Am I doing all I can to secure the job?” If the answer is yes, then the decision is out of your hands. Play along a little more and visualize your first day on the job, but then let the idea rest. It doesn’t need to bother you anymore, you have things to take care of in this moment.
Psychology Today offers some great tips on talking yourself out of these negative moments.
Other times “No” Comes in Handy
You’re also going to want to practice the art of saying, “No,” to negative people, and requests from others that don’t fit within your values, schedule or life goals. Just because a friend, family member or co-worker asks you to do something or invites you somewhere, doesn’t mean it’s a positive use of your time.
A lot of people struggle with guilt about saying, “No,” to the important people in our lives, but the truth is if they are really important they’ll understand when you say no. Don’t expect everyone to understand, but don’t feel the need to make excuses for the people who give you a hard time – just simply say no, and dismiss any thoughts of guilt that linger as we talked about earlier. This guilt is only interrupting your ability to achieve your own sense of happiness, just as participating in that event or task they requested disrupted your personal path.
The key to everything, of course, is balance. Carefully assess the decisions you make as they align with your goals, values and lifestyle and you’ll find yourself feeling peaceful instead of pessimistic.